Amazing Week!

Dressed for Prayer

Dressing appropriately for prayer with our new Muslim friends from Morocco.

Ten Mission Truths

Hermana Dupape challenged me to author a list. The numerical limit is ten. The experiences span the last 18 months. Ready, set, write:

1. God loves me.

My journal says so. Four hundred fifty days of repeated chorus: "This is how I saw His love today." New stories, same theme.

2. God loves you.

Let's pretend that the people that I've met over the past 18 months constitute a random sampling of all of God's children. Drawing upon my excellent inner statistical skills*, I have learned that God loves approximately...well, everyone. He definitely loves a lot of people that I had never considered before.

He loves the drug dealer with whom we prayed at the Raindance apartments last February. I know, because I felt compassion for the man when he told the story of his debased, abused life. He loves nine-year old Avery** in Lawton. He led us to her because he knew that she needed a pair of adoring sister missionaries and the love of a doting ward. God also loves the man who pulled a knife on us that summer in his apartment breezeway. I know because I felt like laughing and conversing with the kid despite the seriousness of the situation. We prayed for him again that night, and I'm sure I'll never forget his name -Steven- to pray for him.

God has given me spiritual (if not statistical) eyes. I've seen something of the human soul that quite surprised me (D&C 18:10).

3. The Priesthood is real.

Elders are weird. They wear ties and dress shirts every day. They don't date. They play sports only once a week, and then they play with uncanny sportsmanship. I'm sure they're just boys, but I find them peculiar.

I hear what regular teenage boys say, and I see what they do. Elders are weird, but in the most sacred sense. Weird like God is weird. Weird like I hope my husband will be weird. Weird simply because they are separated from the world and live on a higher plane.

I will be eternally grateful for Priesthood holders, and for the example of teenage disciples of Jesus Christ (Matthew 10). This is how God teaches us to be men, or to be women, and to work together. The Priesthood is His way.

4. I am happy.

And I can be happy even when my humanoid agenda gets all crumpled up and frustrated. Here is the secret: Kind words. Find them wherever you can. Speak them, sing them, incorporate them in increasingly complex ways into your vocabulary. Tell them to others. Shout them enthusiastically when the situation is dark. Listen to them. Search them out in books. Spend time with people who use them (children are obviously the best).
I choose to be happy.

5. Shouting praises is fun.

I've wondered about this "shouting praises" thing. The scriptures speak of heavenly noises, but I wasn't sure how to translate them into everyday vernacular. I thought I knew what it was when I became acquainted with Pentecostal Christians, but it didn't quite fit. Then  I met Hermana Dupape.

Shouting praises is discussing miracles every day. It is saying, "Sister. You won't BELIEVE what I learned from the scriptures today!!" It is giving your companion a standing ovation just because she exists. Putting a robust operatic tune to psalms and singing them aloud. It is jumping up and clicking one's heels while tracting. It is authentic and exuberant and real.

6. God loves the dreamer.

He has answered every pulsating plea of my heart. Sometimes I start to doubt Him, but it's really just a matter of time. I write it down, I pray about it, I visualize it in my head. And it happens! Graduation and Jerusalem and nannying and missions...it all happens. Someday the list will include travel and PhDs and marriage and children. Ether promises the faithful that they can hope for a better world (Ether 12). It's sort of Matthew 5-7ish.

8. "Prayer is better than sleep."  ~Kismet

Not that sleep isn't fabulous. But 18 months without naps demands alternative modes of rest. The lunchtime cat-nap is commendable, as is the honest journal entry. But the most restful non-sleep that I have yet discovered is the heavenly gift of prayer.

9. God loves all of His children.

We might reasonably claim a fullness, but I find sacred perspectives in all religions. I hereby applaud the Jehovah's Witnesses for tracting with us. The Baptists for being loud about Christ. Non Denominationals for including everyone. Church of Christ for giving homage to striving families. Muslims for loving prophets.

"Perhaps the Lord needs such men on the outside of His Church to help it along. They...can do more good for the cause where the Lord has placed them, than anywhere else...hence some are drawn into the fold and receive a testimony of the truth; while others remain unconverted...the beauties and glories of the gospel being veiled temporarily from their view, for a wise purpose. The Lord will open their eyes in His own due time. God is using  more than one people for the accomplishment of His great and marvelous work. The Latter-day Saints cannot do it all. It is too vast, too arduous for any one people." (Orson F.Whitney)

10. "If we would be eminently successful, Jesus is our example." ~President Spencer W. Kimball

Many years ago I read Joseph Smith History, and then prayed for God to introduce me to His Son. I envied Joseph for his personal knowledge of Jesus Christ.

God is answering my prayer. The introduction is not physical. For me, it is through stories and poetry and adventurous human interactions. Matthew 5-7, the great keynote lecture of two nations (3 Nephi 12), shows me how to live and think. Eleven companions have provided a practical field for practicing Christlike attributes. Inquisitive investigators and antagonistic strangers have blessed me with books of inspired questions and spiritual truths.

When I boil it all down and sift through for an overarching conclusion, this is what I find:

The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me;
Because the Lord hath anointed me
To preach good tidings unto the meek.
He hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives,
And the opening of the prison to them that are bound.

...To comfort all that mourn;
...To give unto them beauty for ashes,
The oil of joy for mourning,
The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
(Isaiah 61)


* I barely scraped through college Stats, but it's something I aspire to!
** Name changed

Consolation

So you grieve. Your mission is over. It's natural to be sad.

But occasionally a thought crosses your mind about the life yet to come. It urges you to do the happy dance.

Like the moment that you realize that you can hold babies again!!!

Here is a direct quote from the accursed page 35 of the White Handbook:
As in all other relationships, never be alone with a child. Avoid any behavior that could be misunderstood or that could appear to be inappropriate, including tickling, changing diapers, holding children, and allowing children to sit on your lap. Never babysit children of any age.

These words have been a stab in the heart for 17 months.

And I will never, EVER, ever have to abide by them again, starting in less than two weeks.

Ladies and gentlemen, please consider my consolation:

Two handsome nephews, ready to dig with me.

Two adorable nieces, with one more on the way.

Family History on Campus

The Spirit of Elijah is alive and well on the OCCC campus! Triple the referrals!

Matching Little House on the Prairie Dresses

Endings

I do not like them, Sam I Am. I do not like this cruel wham.

Sometimes I watch planes fly into the airport (why did they put the airport in my area?!), and I get a little euphoric stomach-squeezing sensation. I think about hugging my family members at the airport, and then I want to cry. But then I can't decide whether the tears are happy or sad. And the word "sad" makes me think of everyone that I'm leaving. How rude. Members remind me at least three times daily that I am leaving, and missionaries pipe a continual funeral dirge. It's confusing. Marvelous and horrible and confusing.

I am OCD-organized., so I find solace in lists. God knows this, so He inspires me with list titles to organize my thoughts into hopeful, pragmatic patterns. This week's lists were thus:

1. Things I Will Miss
2. Things I Look Forward To
3. Things I Am Uncertain About
4. Things That Will Remain The Same

The first two lists were quite expansive. If you are reading this blog, know that you are included in number two. I can't wait to see you!!

Number three was comfortingly short. True, the uncertainties loom large (job, location, schooling, dating, etc), but I couldn't come up with more than a pint-sized paragraph no matter how I tried.

Number four is the best list of all. It speaks of eternal things, and of gratitude for a finer vision than I had 18 months ago. I will still serve. I'll feed the people I love. I will teach. I'll probably still annotate the ward list with colors and details about every member I meet until I know them all.

I will still pray in every soulful, hungering, and delighted token of thanks. I will study scriptures with difficult questions in mind. God will still reveal an answer. And I'll attend church with an other-oriented gaze.

I will still love my family, and I will love Oklahomans too.

I will still be Sister Stewart, though I will go by Jenny on most days.

"There seems to be something inside of us that resists endings. Why is this? Because we are made of the stuff of eternity...In His plan, there are no true endings-only everlasting beginnings."
~President Dieter F. Uchdorf

Feminist

"All human beings -male and female- are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual and premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose."
The Family: A Proclamation To The World

Am I a feminist?

Well, I do believe that men and women should be held to an equal standard of responsibility. But I also maintain a number of unfashionable beliefs:

1. Women aren't (physically) as strong as men. Sure, there's an occasional Helga who serves as the exception, but I don't really mind not running as fast or lifting as much weight. We're different, no competition needed.

2. Men should open doors. Why? Because my dad opens my mom's door. Terrible epistemology? Sure. But it is personal, and this is my blog, so I reserve the right to tell the world as I see it. If a gentleman opens my door, I take it as a commentary about his goodness, and not about my own ability. He doesn't open the door because I am not able, but because he is truly that kind.

3. Men can have the Priesthood. God said so. I'm grateful, and not at all envious. I like wearing dresses. I don't want to pass the sacrament, and thanks be to heaven that I'll never have to be a Bishop.

4. Men and women should work for unity rather than divisiveness.

To the dear Mormon women who are picking a fight with the Priesthood, I applaud your zeal. But I'm not so sure of your cause. I would ask you to explain, but this is a blog. And so I must content myself with my own opinion.

For the last twelve months, I have been serving as a Sister Training Leader. This is a new position in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We work shoulder-to-shoulder with priesthood leaders in wards and in our mission to bring about the work of salvation. We sit in on Mission Leadership Council. We minister to sisters. We strive to uplift the elders. We teach and train and go on exchanges. We are needed, and we like that.

People worried about the influx of so many sister missionaries. They arrived, just two transfers behind me, in great hoards. But there is so little flirting. There is not much bickering. Elders and Sisters are not romantic comrades, and they are not mortal enemies. We are partners. I might venture to say that a crucial element of the work of salvation is for men and women to learn to work together.

The priesthood is like an umbrella. God has asked men to hold the umbrella, and women and children take shelter underneath its expanse. As a woman, there is no power of the priesthood that I lack. I can minister and pray and heal as well as a man, I am sure. I can probably even recite the words and actions of ordinances and blessings. But God reserved the Priesthood as a divine means for teaching men how to be men. And women are all the better for it.

The Priesthood is the highest and most divine organization of female advocacy that exists in the world today. Why should we fight against it?

If we, as women, successfully wrested the Priesthood from men (and, but the way, we won't; it is the Eternal order of God), what would we accomplish? A serious gate-keeping issue, that's what. Already overworked women would simply be left alone (in pants) to bless the sacrament, oversee family spirituality, provide financially, and preside in meetings. No dresses allowed.

No thank you! I'll marry a man who open doors, and I'll wear a dress.

I've worked myself through a heated strand of thought, and I ask myself again, am I a feminist?

Well, yes. But only if I can be a Men-inist also. I insist upon the goodness of man and on the goodness of woman. The Family: A Proclamation To The World* is quite enough for me.

*https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation

Oklahoma Grandparents

FHE Talent Show

How to eat Girl Scout cookies the proper way? 

Don the Charlie Chaplin look. 

Then begin at the forehead and move the cookie to the mouth via facial contortions.

Rivendell

This is our favorite neighborhood because all of the street names are from Lord of the Rings.
Hola to my inner hobbit.

Teenage Sage

"There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: But God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape..."
~1 Corinthians 10:13

Tracy* is black. I say this as a hairstylist, not as a racist. He's a 16 year-old with a fabulous two-inch fro who wears neon knee-high socks. His life revolves around tennis and girls. He was baptized six months ago, and he is a leader among the youth. He is unconventional, and for that I love him.

The elders were worried on Saturday night when Tracy didn't answer his phone. He was giving his first talk in sacrament meeting, and they were supposed to help him write it. I'm so glad that they didn't.

What proceeded from Tracy's mouth on Sunday morning was a thirty-minute exposition that made a few people squirm and quite a few people giggle, but which really needed to be said. He was asked to speak about a topic from the For The Strength of Youth** pamphlet. He chose the things that were most pertinent to his teenage lifestyle: Sexual Purity and Media and Entertainment.

"I got involved in some stuff that I'm not going to say," he started. "All you ladies out there might be pure, and I don't want to talk about it."

Alright, I've read Jacob Chapter 2 a few times, and this made my ears perk up. He like Jacob, was going to be plain of speech, but he worried for the wives and children, many of whose feelings are exceedingly tender and chaste (Jacob 2:7). His vernacular was pidgin, but the kid was all over this.

The word he never said was "pornography."

He proceeded to describe how his friend had shown him a video, and then he got hooked. He said he didn't know it at the time, but he was addicted. He had to watch the videos all the time, until one day his older brother blew his cover in front of the missionaries.

My favorite part of the talk is that Tracy, who delivered most of the talk with his eyes closed, opened his eyes for a few minutes to show us how he looked when he was addicted to pornography. He stooped his head and his eyes got dark and broody. He just stared. He said that he was raised to think that it was OK to do what you wanted with women (again he was a little uncouth in his language), and that his dad had this look about him all the time. He mom takes care of seven kids and pretends not to notice when her husband stays up at night looking at pictures on his cell phone.

Tracy wanted something better from his life, so he cleaned up his act. On Sunday after church, he received the Aaronic Priesthood. Next week he will pass the sacrament.

Tracy understands two wonderful things: 1. Wives and children need husbands and fathers who are pure and chaste. 2. Pornography is addictive, and harmful to self and others. Nothing about Tracy's life promotes these two truths, and yet this is what he has gleaned from six months in the restored Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. His life, and the lives of his children and wife will be forever changed because he knows these things.

There is a third thing that Tracy knows, and it is this thing that I would like to testify of today: The Atonement of Jesus Christ is adequate to overcome pornography addiction. I know it because I have seen it. To any that might struggle, please consider Tracy's plain speech. If his words aren't enough, take the testimony of a living apostle:
"We (need) men that women can trust, that children can trust, and that God can trust...Prepare to be a good husband and father; prepare to be a good and productive citizen; prepare to serve the Lord, whose priesthood you hold. Wherever you are, your Heavenly Father is mindful of you. You are not alone, and you have the priesthood and the gift of the Holy Ghost...It is true that we are in many ways ordinary and imperfect, but we have a perfect Master who wrought a perfect Atonement." ~Elder Todd Christofferson***

How I love the good, and imperfect, men of the Church! Here's to virtue, to priesthood, and to the wonderful men in my life. Most of all to the Man of all Men, Jesus Christ our Redeemer.

*Name changed.
**This booklet is nothing short of life-changing! We use it in lessons as often as possible. The standards given to Mormon youth are keys to success for all people of any age! https://www.lds.org/bc/content/shared/content/english/pdf/ForTheStrengthOfYouth-eng.pdf?lang=eng
***Brethren, We Have a Work To Do (Christopherson) https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/10/brethren-we-have-work-to-do?lang=eng