Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Easter

We watched an Easter presentation on Friday night called "The Lamb of God." It's written by Rob Gardener, and it absolutely blew me away. It is 90 minutes of orchestra and small-voice choir. Soloist singers play the roles of various disciples and a lone cello plays the part of Christ. The combined narration and music captured almost to perfection my feelings and thoughts about the Atonement. I think I wept for an entire 90 minutes.

It took me back to Christmas Eve 2010 when we watched "Savior of the World." You will recall that I cried after that concert, too. But I cried then because I felt that I did not KNOW the truth of this savior, and I really wanted to know and understand what made my heart stir and my eyes weep.

"Blessed are they that hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they shall be filled."

Fast-forward again, this time to January 2013. I began to learn about one stricken by grief and afflicted because I was also stricken by grief and afflicted. "Remove this cup from me, nevertheless not my will but thine be done" was the ache of my homesick missionary heart.

Now I am learning not to know about Christ, but to know Him.

To know Him.

The only way to know someone that I can't see is to become like Him. To wake up each day with the intent of doing my Father's business. To qualify myself for the work with real compassion. To save rather than to condemn. To withhold mean judgement and to fill instead with brotherly kindness  To crucify the natural man and to look outward rather than inward.

Every, every day this is my task and my burden. His work and His glory.

I prayed once, after reading the account of the Father introducing His son to Joseph Smith, for God to introduce His son to me. And He is doing so! And it hurts more than I expected. Loving means risking rejection. I can see why love is often described as a "fall." But the joy is deeper, too. And so I choose sometimes to fall, knowing that to every fall since the fall of Adam there has always been a deliverance planned.





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