.JPG) |
| Sister Taylor, Sister Stewart, President Taylor |
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
Unspeakable Things
There is something unspeakable about being close to God.
Forgive my attempt to give words to an unutterable truth.
Sometimes being close to God feels like two dozen soft cookies and a sweater that smells like home.
Sometimes it is very long prayers after everyone else goes to sleep. Feeling that singular sun-on-the-face variety of the Spirit that I love so well.
It's not always convenient. Lately being close to God means ever-running mascara because Christmas hymns leave me in tears. I can't sing about adoring Christ without actually adoring him, and the mental exercise swamps my voice with grateful tears.
Being close to God means feeling that God has paid me a divine compliment by letting me serve a mission at such a time as this.
It means letting the Atonement strengthen, enable, cleanse, heal, or comfort everyday.
Being close to God manifests itself in personal flaws that don't hurt so much as they used to. It is putting the inner-perfectionist to rest. It is refraining from comparing self to others. It is repenting, and not hating weakness in self or others.
It is being known of God. Feeling boldly unabashed by what He knows and sees in me.
Being close to God is reading Moses chapter seven in the morning and craving the gift of compassion all day long.
Being close to God is being close to His kin. Seeing great strength in nineteen year-old boys. Being taken-aback at how very un-terrible it is to live with the new appendage called "companion." Cherishing zone members and branch members and district members known only three weeks. And grieving because it's time to leave as soon as we learn to love.
Sometimes being close to God means airplane rides and an uncertain future.
Tomorrow it will mean leaving the happy fabricated existence of the MTC and boldly marching onto a plane. Being close to God is trusting that He will draw close to me in Oklahoma just as He has been near me here.
Perhaps being close to God is not so unspeakable after all.
Forgive my attempt to give words to an unutterable truth.
Sometimes being close to God feels like two dozen soft cookies and a sweater that smells like home.
Sometimes it is very long prayers after everyone else goes to sleep. Feeling that singular sun-on-the-face variety of the Spirit that I love so well.
It's not always convenient. Lately being close to God means ever-running mascara because Christmas hymns leave me in tears. I can't sing about adoring Christ without actually adoring him, and the mental exercise swamps my voice with grateful tears.
Being close to God means feeling that God has paid me a divine compliment by letting me serve a mission at such a time as this.
It means letting the Atonement strengthen, enable, cleanse, heal, or comfort everyday.
Being close to God manifests itself in personal flaws that don't hurt so much as they used to. It is putting the inner-perfectionist to rest. It is refraining from comparing self to others. It is repenting, and not hating weakness in self or others.
It is being known of God. Feeling boldly unabashed by what He knows and sees in me.
Being close to God is reading Moses chapter seven in the morning and craving the gift of compassion all day long.
Being close to God is being close to His kin. Seeing great strength in nineteen year-old boys. Being taken-aback at how very un-terrible it is to live with the new appendage called "companion." Cherishing zone members and branch members and district members known only three weeks. And grieving because it's time to leave as soon as we learn to love.
Sometimes being close to God means airplane rides and an uncertain future.
Tomorrow it will mean leaving the happy fabricated existence of the MTC and boldly marching onto a plane. Being close to God is trusting that He will draw close to me in Oklahoma just as He has been near me here.
Perhaps being close to God is not so unspeakable after all.
Tuesday, December 11, 2012
MTC Week 2: In Which Jenny Becomes Sister Stewart
Last week, I missed my first name. I like hearing "Jenny" this and "Jenny" that. I didn't really mind the rigors of missionary work, but it felt a little mournful to leave everything--music, books, school, friends, family, and even my name--behind. How could I possibly be myself without my name?
Fast-forward 10 days. On Sunday morning, someone* called, "Jenny!"
I didn't even notice.
There are two names on my missionary tag. "Sister Stewart" and "Jesus Christ." They are both important to my missionary endeavors. I give something that only I can give, but my message and meaning is really all about Jesus Christ. It's a gift to identify myself with Him. And, just as the Savior promised, we find ourselves when we give ourselves away. I don't miss my first name anymore. In fact, I feel more myself when I am proclaiming the gospel of Jesus Christ than I ever have before.
So here's a little shout-out to from Sister Stewart to the MTC.
Here's to my first baptismal commitment. True, the Tongan sister in the TRC was probably just acting the part of an investigator, but the Spirit bore witness that my invitation was sincere, and that her testimony was true. I can't wait to invite someone "real" (ie: Not a TRC worker) to follow the example of Jesus Christ by being baptized by one holding the priesthood of God.
Here's to the Sister missionaries in Oklahoma City who sent me a welcome postcard this week. They report that our Sister missionaries are about to increase exponentially in OKC--from 18 right now to 56 next June! I'm grateful to be in the vanguard of this hastening effort.
Here's to the BYU Men's Chorus and to Sister Reeves of the Relief Society General Presidency for making my Sabbath a truly revelatory experience.
Here's to Elder Bednar for reaffirming to me that my purpose is not just to GO on a mission, but to BECOME a missionary. In a powerful talk called "The Character of Christ," he reminded missionaries that who we are matters more than what we teach. He also likened the natural man to cookie monster ("I want NOW!!!") in a surprisingly humorous and clarifying manner.
Here's to three new sisters and four new Elders in our district. So nice to have them here, and soooo nice not to be wearing the orange sticker of shame this week. I think I will pray for missionaries every Wednesday, knowing how crazy it feels to pass from an old life to a new life in the MTC.
Here's to snow and cold temperatures. It's cozy now, but I know that it is a gentle promise of cruel things to come.
Ice-storms. On a bike. In a skirt.
Thank heavens for fleeced tights.
Lots of love from the MTC,
Sister Stewart :)
*The aforementioned "someone" was none other than the wonderful Elder Alex Stewart! Upon recognizing the tall individual as my cousin, I paused (trying to remember what the white handbook says about hugging cousins) and then gave him a big hug. I want to hug him every time I see him just to shock nearby missionaries, but I resist. Hugs or not, it's nice to have him here :)
Fast-forward 10 days. On Sunday morning, someone* called, "Jenny!"
I didn't even notice.
There are two names on my missionary tag. "Sister Stewart" and "Jesus Christ." They are both important to my missionary endeavors. I give something that only I can give, but my message and meaning is really all about Jesus Christ. It's a gift to identify myself with Him. And, just as the Savior promised, we find ourselves when we give ourselves away. I don't miss my first name anymore. In fact, I feel more myself when I am proclaiming the gospel of Jesus Christ than I ever have before.
So here's a little shout-out to from Sister Stewart to the MTC.
Here's to my first baptismal commitment. True, the Tongan sister in the TRC was probably just acting the part of an investigator, but the Spirit bore witness that my invitation was sincere, and that her testimony was true. I can't wait to invite someone "real" (ie: Not a TRC worker) to follow the example of Jesus Christ by being baptized by one holding the priesthood of God.
Here's to the Sister missionaries in Oklahoma City who sent me a welcome postcard this week. They report that our Sister missionaries are about to increase exponentially in OKC--from 18 right now to 56 next June! I'm grateful to be in the vanguard of this hastening effort.
Here's to the BYU Men's Chorus and to Sister Reeves of the Relief Society General Presidency for making my Sabbath a truly revelatory experience.
Here's to Elder Bednar for reaffirming to me that my purpose is not just to GO on a mission, but to BECOME a missionary. In a powerful talk called "The Character of Christ," he reminded missionaries that who we are matters more than what we teach. He also likened the natural man to cookie monster ("I want NOW!!!") in a surprisingly humorous and clarifying manner.
Here's to three new sisters and four new Elders in our district. So nice to have them here, and soooo nice not to be wearing the orange sticker of shame this week. I think I will pray for missionaries every Wednesday, knowing how crazy it feels to pass from an old life to a new life in the MTC.
Here's to snow and cold temperatures. It's cozy now, but I know that it is a gentle promise of cruel things to come.
Ice-storms. On a bike. In a skirt.
Thank heavens for fleeced tights.
Lots of love from the MTC,
Sister Stewart :)
*The aforementioned "someone" was none other than the wonderful Elder Alex Stewart! Upon recognizing the tall individual as my cousin, I paused (trying to remember what the white handbook says about hugging cousins) and then gave him a big hug. I want to hug him every time I see him just to shock nearby missionaries, but I resist. Hugs or not, it's nice to have him here :)
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
The MTC: Myth and Magic
Determine whether the following statements are true or false. Check for correct answers below
1. T/F: Hogwarts is the best literary representation of the MTC.
2. T/F: Avoid the orange juice or run the risk of serious illness.
3. T/F: Teenage boys are dumb.
4. T/F: Since the momentous October announcement, there are equal numbers of Elders and Sisters in the MTC.
5. T/F: The MTC schedule keeps us clipping along at a ridiculous pace.
6. T/F: If we do our best, the Lord will take care of the rest.
7. T/F: Teaching investigators is better than holding hands.
8. T/F: Letters and packages are second only in joy and cheer to Santa Claus himself.
Answer Key:
1. True...well, at least a little bit. I didn't arrive via Platform Nine and Three-Quarters and I haven't met Snape yet, but the metaphor holds true in other significant ways. The Sisters and Elders fall into two character categories: Hermione Granger (level of know-it-all-ism varies) and Neville Longbottom (just remember that this fine chap turns out to be best of all despite his unimpressive personality). The MTC defies all sociological laws...pure magic. 19 year-old boys obey rules with exactness. Groups of unmonitored youth stay on task. Boys who have never read the Book of Mormon carry the Spirit in abundance. So...not exactly a JK Rowling novel, but definitely magical.
2. False. This is the most common piece of advice passed on from experienced MTC goers, but it is a myth. The OJ is delicious. I am confident that the rumor is a conspiracy to preserve the OJ for those who love it the most.
3. False, false, false. I used to walk to the Provo temple on Sunday nights and stare with horror at the throngs of teenage missionaries. I felt sure that I would never be able to endure the MTC because of them. Ah, but how I must repent now. My district consists of 8 oustandingly obedient Elders, and my opinion of teenage boys is improving by the day.
4. False. Not until January. I'm part of the last thrust of 21-and-older sisters. It's a strange thing to be a minority at the MTC. Sisters are generally revered (and stared at a bit more than is appropriate), but definitely out of place. Thank goodness for a hastening of the work.
5. True.
6. True. Or at least, I really hope so. I was called to be the Coordinating Sister (like a Relief Society President for the Zone), and I am a little overwhelmed. But very glad to serve new sisters.
7. True. Only two things keep me awake at night with a goofy grin on my face: holding hands (please note that this is a reference to my pre-MTC days) and teaching a spiritually-convincing lesson.
8. True! A thousand thanks to friends and family who busied the mail room for my sake last week!
Determine whether the following statements are true or false. Check for correct answers below
1. T/F: Hogwarts is the best literary representation of the MTC.
2. T/F: Avoid the orange juice or run the risk of serious illness.
3. T/F: Teenage boys are dumb.
4. T/F: Since the momentous October announcement, there are equal numbers of Elders and Sisters in the MTC.
5. T/F: The MTC schedule keeps us clipping along at a ridiculous pace.
6. T/F: If we do our best, the Lord will take care of the rest.
7. T/F: Teaching investigators is better than holding hands.
8. T/F: Letters and packages are second only in joy and cheer to Santa Claus himself.
Answer Key:
1. True...well, at least a little bit. I didn't arrive via Platform Nine and Three-Quarters and I haven't met Snape yet, but the metaphor holds true in other significant ways. The Sisters and Elders fall into two character categories: Hermione Granger (level of know-it-all-ism varies) and Neville Longbottom (just remember that this fine chap turns out to be best of all despite his unimpressive personality). The MTC defies all sociological laws...pure magic. 19 year-old boys obey rules with exactness. Groups of unmonitored youth stay on task. Boys who have never read the Book of Mormon carry the Spirit in abundance. So...not exactly a JK Rowling novel, but definitely magical.
2. False. This is the most common piece of advice passed on from experienced MTC goers, but it is a myth. The OJ is delicious. I am confident that the rumor is a conspiracy to preserve the OJ for those who love it the most.
3. False, false, false. I used to walk to the Provo temple on Sunday nights and stare with horror at the throngs of teenage missionaries. I felt sure that I would never be able to endure the MTC because of them. Ah, but how I must repent now. My district consists of 8 oustandingly obedient Elders, and my opinion of teenage boys is improving by the day.
4. False. Not until January. I'm part of the last thrust of 21-and-older sisters. It's a strange thing to be a minority at the MTC. Sisters are generally revered (and stared at a bit more than is appropriate), but definitely out of place. Thank goodness for a hastening of the work.
5. True.
6. True. Or at least, I really hope so. I was called to be the Coordinating Sister (like a Relief Society President for the Zone), and I am a little overwhelmed. But very glad to serve new sisters.
7. True. Only two things keep me awake at night with a goofy grin on my face: holding hands (please note that this is a reference to my pre-MTC days) and teaching a spiritually-convincing lesson.
8. True! A thousand thanks to friends and family who busied the mail room for my sake last week!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)