Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Ten Mission Truths
Hermana Dupape challenged me to author a list. The numerical limit is ten. The experiences span the last 18 months. Ready, set, write:
1. God loves me.
My journal says so. Four hundred fifty days of repeated chorus: "This is how I saw His love today." New stories, same theme.
2. God loves you.
Let's pretend that the people that I've met over the past 18 months constitute a random sampling of all of God's children. Drawing upon my excellent inner statistical skills*, I have learned that God loves approximately...well, everyone. He definitely loves a lot of people that I had never considered before.
He loves the drug dealer with whom we prayed at the Raindance apartments last February. I know, because I felt compassion for the man when he told the story of his debased, abused life. He loves nine-year old Avery** in Lawton. He led us to her because he knew that she needed a pair of adoring sister missionaries and the love of a doting ward. God also loves the man who pulled a knife on us that summer in his apartment breezeway. I know because I felt like laughing and conversing with the kid despite the seriousness of the situation. We prayed for him again that night, and I'm sure I'll never forget his name -Steven- to pray for him.
God has given me spiritual (if not statistical) eyes. I've seen something of the human soul that quite surprised me (D&C 18:10).
3. The Priesthood is real.
Elders are weird. They wear ties and dress shirts every day. They don't date. They play sports only once a week, and then they play with uncanny sportsmanship. I'm sure they're just boys, but I find them peculiar.
I hear what regular teenage boys say, and I see what they do. Elders are weird, but in the most sacred sense. Weird like God is weird. Weird like I hope my husband will be weird. Weird simply because they are separated from the world and live on a higher plane.
I will be eternally grateful for Priesthood holders, and for the example of teenage disciples of Jesus Christ (Matthew 10). This is how God teaches us to be men, or to be women, and to work together. The Priesthood is His way.
4. I am happy.
And I can be happy even when my humanoid agenda gets all crumpled up and frustrated. Here is the secret: Kind words. Find them wherever you can. Speak them, sing them, incorporate them in increasingly complex ways into your vocabulary. Tell them to others. Shout them enthusiastically when the situation is dark. Listen to them. Search them out in books. Spend time with people who use them (children are obviously the best).
I choose to be happy.
5. Shouting praises is fun.
I've wondered about this "shouting praises" thing. The scriptures speak of heavenly noises, but I wasn't sure how to translate them into everyday vernacular. I thought I knew what it was when I became acquainted with Pentecostal Christians, but it didn't quite fit. Then I met Hermana Dupape.
Shouting praises is discussing miracles every day. It is saying, "Sister. You won't BELIEVE what I learned from the scriptures today!!" It is giving your companion a standing ovation just because she exists. Putting a robust operatic tune to psalms and singing them aloud. It is jumping up and clicking one's heels while tracting. It is authentic and exuberant and real.
6. God loves the dreamer.
He has answered every pulsating plea of my heart. Sometimes I start to doubt Him, but it's really just a matter of time. I write it down, I pray about it, I visualize it in my head. And it happens! Graduation and Jerusalem and nannying and missions...it all happens. Someday the list will include travel and PhDs and marriage and children. Ether promises the faithful that they can hope for a better world (Ether 12). It's sort of Matthew 5-7ish.
8. "Prayer is better than sleep." ~Kismet
Not that sleep isn't fabulous. But 18 months without naps demands alternative modes of rest. The lunchtime cat-nap is commendable, as is the honest journal entry. But the most restful non-sleep that I have yet discovered is the heavenly gift of prayer.
9. God loves all of His children.
We might reasonably claim a fullness, but I find sacred perspectives in all religions. I hereby applaud the Jehovah's Witnesses for tracting with us. The Baptists for being loud about Christ. Non Denominationals for including everyone. Church of Christ for giving homage to striving families. Muslims for loving prophets.
"Perhaps the Lord needs such men on the outside of His Church to help it along. They...can do more good for the cause where the Lord has placed them, than anywhere else...hence some are drawn into the fold and receive a testimony of the truth; while others remain unconverted...the beauties and glories of the gospel being veiled temporarily from their view, for a wise purpose. The Lord will open their eyes in His own due time. God is using more than one people for the accomplishment of His great and marvelous work. The Latter-day Saints cannot do it all. It is too vast, too arduous for any one people." (Orson F.Whitney)
10. "If we would be eminently successful, Jesus is our example." ~President Spencer W. Kimball
Many years ago I read Joseph Smith History, and then prayed for God to introduce me to His Son. I envied Joseph for his personal knowledge of Jesus Christ.
God is answering my prayer. The introduction is not physical. For me, it is through stories and poetry and adventurous human interactions. Matthew 5-7, the great keynote lecture of two nations (3 Nephi 12), shows me how to live and think. Eleven companions have provided a practical field for practicing Christlike attributes. Inquisitive investigators and antagonistic strangers have blessed me with books of inspired questions and spiritual truths.
When I boil it all down and sift through for an overarching conclusion, this is what I find:
The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me;
Because the Lord hath anointed me
To preach good tidings unto the meek.
He hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives,
And the opening of the prison to them that are bound.
...To comfort all that mourn;
...To give unto them beauty for ashes,
The oil of joy for mourning,
The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
(Isaiah 61)
* I barely scraped through college Stats, but it's something I aspire to!
** Name changed
1. God loves me.
My journal says so. Four hundred fifty days of repeated chorus: "This is how I saw His love today." New stories, same theme.
2. God loves you.
Let's pretend that the people that I've met over the past 18 months constitute a random sampling of all of God's children. Drawing upon my excellent inner statistical skills*, I have learned that God loves approximately...well, everyone. He definitely loves a lot of people that I had never considered before.
He loves the drug dealer with whom we prayed at the Raindance apartments last February. I know, because I felt compassion for the man when he told the story of his debased, abused life. He loves nine-year old Avery** in Lawton. He led us to her because he knew that she needed a pair of adoring sister missionaries and the love of a doting ward. God also loves the man who pulled a knife on us that summer in his apartment breezeway. I know because I felt like laughing and conversing with the kid despite the seriousness of the situation. We prayed for him again that night, and I'm sure I'll never forget his name -Steven- to pray for him.
God has given me spiritual (if not statistical) eyes. I've seen something of the human soul that quite surprised me (D&C 18:10).
3. The Priesthood is real.
Elders are weird. They wear ties and dress shirts every day. They don't date. They play sports only once a week, and then they play with uncanny sportsmanship. I'm sure they're just boys, but I find them peculiar.
I hear what regular teenage boys say, and I see what they do. Elders are weird, but in the most sacred sense. Weird like God is weird. Weird like I hope my husband will be weird. Weird simply because they are separated from the world and live on a higher plane.
I will be eternally grateful for Priesthood holders, and for the example of teenage disciples of Jesus Christ (Matthew 10). This is how God teaches us to be men, or to be women, and to work together. The Priesthood is His way.
4. I am happy.
And I can be happy even when my humanoid agenda gets all crumpled up and frustrated. Here is the secret: Kind words. Find them wherever you can. Speak them, sing them, incorporate them in increasingly complex ways into your vocabulary. Tell them to others. Shout them enthusiastically when the situation is dark. Listen to them. Search them out in books. Spend time with people who use them (children are obviously the best).
I choose to be happy.
5. Shouting praises is fun.
I've wondered about this "shouting praises" thing. The scriptures speak of heavenly noises, but I wasn't sure how to translate them into everyday vernacular. I thought I knew what it was when I became acquainted with Pentecostal Christians, but it didn't quite fit. Then I met Hermana Dupape.
Shouting praises is discussing miracles every day. It is saying, "Sister. You won't BELIEVE what I learned from the scriptures today!!" It is giving your companion a standing ovation just because she exists. Putting a robust operatic tune to psalms and singing them aloud. It is jumping up and clicking one's heels while tracting. It is authentic and exuberant and real.
6. God loves the dreamer.
He has answered every pulsating plea of my heart. Sometimes I start to doubt Him, but it's really just a matter of time. I write it down, I pray about it, I visualize it in my head. And it happens! Graduation and Jerusalem and nannying and missions...it all happens. Someday the list will include travel and PhDs and marriage and children. Ether promises the faithful that they can hope for a better world (Ether 12). It's sort of Matthew 5-7ish.
8. "Prayer is better than sleep." ~Kismet
Not that sleep isn't fabulous. But 18 months without naps demands alternative modes of rest. The lunchtime cat-nap is commendable, as is the honest journal entry. But the most restful non-sleep that I have yet discovered is the heavenly gift of prayer.
9. God loves all of His children.
We might reasonably claim a fullness, but I find sacred perspectives in all religions. I hereby applaud the Jehovah's Witnesses for tracting with us. The Baptists for being loud about Christ. Non Denominationals for including everyone. Church of Christ for giving homage to striving families. Muslims for loving prophets.
"Perhaps the Lord needs such men on the outside of His Church to help it along. They...can do more good for the cause where the Lord has placed them, than anywhere else...hence some are drawn into the fold and receive a testimony of the truth; while others remain unconverted...the beauties and glories of the gospel being veiled temporarily from their view, for a wise purpose. The Lord will open their eyes in His own due time. God is using more than one people for the accomplishment of His great and marvelous work. The Latter-day Saints cannot do it all. It is too vast, too arduous for any one people." (Orson F.Whitney)
10. "If we would be eminently successful, Jesus is our example." ~President Spencer W. Kimball
Many years ago I read Joseph Smith History, and then prayed for God to introduce me to His Son. I envied Joseph for his personal knowledge of Jesus Christ.
God is answering my prayer. The introduction is not physical. For me, it is through stories and poetry and adventurous human interactions. Matthew 5-7, the great keynote lecture of two nations (3 Nephi 12), shows me how to live and think. Eleven companions have provided a practical field for practicing Christlike attributes. Inquisitive investigators and antagonistic strangers have blessed me with books of inspired questions and spiritual truths.
When I boil it all down and sift through for an overarching conclusion, this is what I find:
The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me;
Because the Lord hath anointed me
To preach good tidings unto the meek.
He hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
To proclaim liberty to the captives,
And the opening of the prison to them that are bound.
...To comfort all that mourn;
...To give unto them beauty for ashes,
The oil of joy for mourning,
The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;
(Isaiah 61)
* I barely scraped through college Stats, but it's something I aspire to!
** Name changed
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
Consolation
So you grieve. Your mission is over. It's natural to be sad.
But occasionally a thought crosses your mind about the life yet to come. It urges you to do the happy dance.
Like the moment that you realize that you can hold babies again!!!
Here is a direct quote from the accursed page 35 of the White Handbook:
As in all other relationships, never be alone with a child. Avoid any behavior that could be misunderstood or that could appear to be inappropriate, including tickling, changing diapers, holding children, and allowing children to sit on your lap. Never babysit children of any age.
These words have been a stab in the heart for 17 months.
And I will never, EVER, ever have to abide by them again, starting in less than two weeks.
Ladies and gentlemen, please consider my consolation:
But occasionally a thought crosses your mind about the life yet to come. It urges you to do the happy dance.
Like the moment that you realize that you can hold babies again!!!
Here is a direct quote from the accursed page 35 of the White Handbook:
As in all other relationships, never be alone with a child. Avoid any behavior that could be misunderstood or that could appear to be inappropriate, including tickling, changing diapers, holding children, and allowing children to sit on your lap. Never babysit children of any age.
These words have been a stab in the heart for 17 months.
And I will never, EVER, ever have to abide by them again, starting in less than two weeks.
Ladies and gentlemen, please consider my consolation:
 |
| Two handsome nephews, ready to dig with me. |
 |
| Two adorable nieces, with one more on the way. |
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
Family History on Campus
The Spirit of Elijah is alive and well on the OCCC campus! Triple the referrals!
Endings
I do not like them, Sam I Am. I do not like this cruel wham.
Sometimes I watch planes fly into the airport (why did they put the airport in my area?!), and I get a little euphoric stomach-squeezing sensation. I think about hugging my family members at the airport, and then I want to cry. But then I can't decide whether the tears are happy or sad. And the word "sad" makes me think of everyone that I'm leaving. How rude. Members remind me at least three times daily that I am leaving, and missionaries pipe a continual funeral dirge. It's confusing. Marvelous and horrible and confusing.
I am OCD-organized., so I find solace in lists. God knows this, so He inspires me with list titles to organize my thoughts into hopeful, pragmatic patterns. This week's lists were thus:
1. Things I Will Miss
2. Things I Look Forward To
3. Things I Am Uncertain About
4. Things That Will Remain The Same
The first two lists were quite expansive. If you are reading this blog, know that you are included in number two. I can't wait to see you!!
Number three was comfortingly short. True, the uncertainties loom large (job, location, schooling, dating, etc), but I couldn't come up with more than a pint-sized paragraph no matter how I tried.
Number four is the best list of all. It speaks of eternal things, and of gratitude for a finer vision than I had 18 months ago. I will still serve. I'll feed the people I love. I will teach. I'll probably still annotate the ward list with colors and details about every member I meet until I know them all.
I will still pray in every soulful, hungering, and delighted token of thanks. I will study scriptures with difficult questions in mind. God will still reveal an answer. And I'll attend church with an other-oriented gaze.
I will still love my family, and I will love Oklahomans too.
I will still be Sister Stewart, though I will go by Jenny on most days.
"There seems to be something inside of us that resists endings. Why is this? Because we are made of the stuff of eternity...In His plan, there are no true endings-only everlasting beginnings."
~President Dieter F. Uchdorf
Sometimes I watch planes fly into the airport (why did they put the airport in my area?!), and I get a little euphoric stomach-squeezing sensation. I think about hugging my family members at the airport, and then I want to cry. But then I can't decide whether the tears are happy or sad. And the word "sad" makes me think of everyone that I'm leaving. How rude. Members remind me at least three times daily that I am leaving, and missionaries pipe a continual funeral dirge. It's confusing. Marvelous and horrible and confusing.
I am OCD-organized., so I find solace in lists. God knows this, so He inspires me with list titles to organize my thoughts into hopeful, pragmatic patterns. This week's lists were thus:
1. Things I Will Miss
2. Things I Look Forward To
3. Things I Am Uncertain About
4. Things That Will Remain The Same
The first two lists were quite expansive. If you are reading this blog, know that you are included in number two. I can't wait to see you!!
Number three was comfortingly short. True, the uncertainties loom large (job, location, schooling, dating, etc), but I couldn't come up with more than a pint-sized paragraph no matter how I tried.
Number four is the best list of all. It speaks of eternal things, and of gratitude for a finer vision than I had 18 months ago. I will still serve. I'll feed the people I love. I will teach. I'll probably still annotate the ward list with colors and details about every member I meet until I know them all.
I will still pray in every soulful, hungering, and delighted token of thanks. I will study scriptures with difficult questions in mind. God will still reveal an answer. And I'll attend church with an other-oriented gaze.
I will still love my family, and I will love Oklahomans too.
I will still be Sister Stewart, though I will go by Jenny on most days.
"There seems to be something inside of us that resists endings. Why is this? Because we are made of the stuff of eternity...In His plan, there are no true endings-only everlasting beginnings."
~President Dieter F. Uchdorf
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