The Fifth Commandment

Indulge me, if you will, in a little Exodus 20:12.

This attempt to "honor (my) father and (my) mother" will perhaps expose me to incredulity from my readers. "You think of your parents so often?" you may say. I do. Creepy, but most everything that I love reminds me of home. I think about my father and my mother every day, many times a day.

I thought of them on August 24th. I was sitting in a booth with members at a little roadside Mexican restaurant when I remembered that it was their wedding anniversary. Their fist date was at a Mexican restaurant. Is it any surprise that I think with some tenderness about Mexican restaurants? Later in the day, I found myself staring at farmhouses and imaging the spot in Jerome, Idaho, where my mom finally said, "Ask me one more time," to her suitor's frequent petitions for marriage. Dad's eyes would have welled up with tears like they do, and then it was just a hop, skip, and a jump to a family of four. Maybe they were too young to start a family at 18 and 21, but I find it adorable, and courageous too.

I thought of them when the senior couple on Fort Sill sat down with us for a post-dinner thought. Elder Tomany looked at his wife wistfully, and then removed his glasses to wipe tears from his eyes. "I love her more after 42 years than I ever loved her," he said. "I tell her that I love her at least a dozen times a day." That's how my dad is. He adores my mom, and he's not shy about confessing his love on a daily basis. She deserves it too. I can't imagine a more romantic couple than my own parents.

I thought of my parents when we visited an ailing gentlemen in the hospital. I was nervous to meet my investigator's brother-in-law and his wife unannounced, but we forged a happy connection when conversation turned to dogs, horses, and the glories of a small acreage. I don't own dogs or horses or land of any size, but I was weaned on James Herriott, Laura Ingalls Wilder, and Organic Gardening. Gathering in the living room to listen to dad read is paying dividends. My parents didn't know it, but they raised a sister missionary who melts in with the rural folks of Oklahoma with ease.

If the fifth commandment has anything to do with remembering, loving, or feeling grateful, then I would like to count myself obedient. But I ought to say it a thousand times more gracefully and more often. I love you, Mom and Dad. I am grateful for you. And I remember you!

Happy Anniversary!

Evidences That God Loves Me

1. Finding a family of five to teach! Three little girls who draw pictures and sing "Popcorn Popping," and two parents who love each other and work hard and probably deal with more than their fair share of life's challenges.

2. Mail. Have I ever paused to say that my mail correspondents are hands-down amazing? There is a special place in heaven reserved for those who write to missionaries. And for those who send pictures and packages...just hop on the chariot, because you just made the fast-track to the Pearly Gates. Thank you dear friends and family, for news, and love, and prayers!

3. A car. I shouldn't admit this, but I avoid riding my bike at all costs. The whole skirt thing...and then the helmet thing...and then they expect me to look CUTE?! Yeah, right. So I drive a care with utmost gratitude. Thank you, dear missionary department, for allotting our mission a decent fleet of cars.

4. Scriptures. The most restful time of day is the sacred hour between 8 and 9 am. I like to be alone with the Lord, and that is the hour of our finest quality time. This week I am enamored with the Book of Acts. How did I exist for 24 years without knowing Philip's story? Or feeling the excitement of Peters's vision of the gospel going to all the dearth?* God bless the tremendous souls who lived and recorded these sacred words!

5. Elders. They exasperate, humiliate, humor, and bless. They get in the car and say "yes, Mom," when we do a seat-belt check. Then they encourage me to race the neighboring car at every stoplight (is it any wonder that I am the designated driver?) . They throw tortillas at us and leave scary scriptures at or doorstep. But they also give blessings and share investigators and give inspired instruction.

6. Lawton, Oklahoma. I love this place. And I get to stay for at least six more weeks!! Huzzah for no transfer!!

*http://www.lds.org/bible-videos/videos/peters-revelation-to-take-the-gospel-to-the-gentiles?lang=eng

A Better Pitch **

Dear You,

And me. Really, this lesson is for all of us.

I've got a problem. The gospel of Jesus Christ has been restored, and I have something burning inside of me to share. I suspect that you've got a little ember inside of you, too. But let's be honest. Most people aren't interested.

I saw a Vivint salesman this week. I gave him a water bottle (my sympathy was aroused for this fellow sweaty sojourner in the hot Oklahoma sun), and he beat it out of sight before I had time to testify. But he got me thinking about how I am presenting my message. "I've got to go save babies," he said to make his escape. His pitch was perfectly suited for the young mothers in the neighborhood.

How am I pitching the gospel message? The words of my 8th grade English teacher are resurrected in my mind every day: KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE.

Maybe your audience is as wonderfully difficult as mine- wonderful because they are good, happy, prosperous people. Difficult because they are good, happy, and prosperous...just the sort of people that are content without any additional religion in their lives.

The pitch for these good folk cannot be "You need us." They clearly don't. But what if we switched things around and said "We need you?" Because we really do.

President Thomas S. Monson tells the story of a Mission President in Canada who sent his missionaries forth with a specific purpose: to find and convert the individuals that they needed to build a chapel. They did so, and the miraculous story is a legend in the church today. The early saints lived similar stories. The prophet sent missionaries to Europe to find and convert architects, stone masons, and other particularly gifted individuals. God prepared those good people to help build His kingdom.

God is preparing good people today to receive the message of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ and to be benefited thereby. But perhaps it is more significant to remember that He is preparing them to receive His restored gospel and to contribute to it! They will recognize the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as the Lord's Kingdom in these latter days inasmuch as we are becoming living invitations of Mark 8:35: "For whosoever will save his life shall lose it; but whosoever shall lose his life for my sake and the gospel's, the same shall save it."

Consider the less-active woman who refused to come to church. Sister White* was a former Relief Society President and an avid family historian, but she never came to church. She was a faithful visiting teacher and kept the Ensign on her dining room table. Still, no church. We were boggled by her. But then we found an investigator who needed to learn about family history, so we invited Sister White to come with us. And when our sweet investigator expressed concern about going to church alone, Sister White finally stepped up to the plate. She wasn't tempted by any of our wily invitations and pushy commendations to come to church, but something changed within her when she felt needed.

Louise Grimm* was a similar story. When we first met her, I thought she'd never be baptized. I'm sure she thought the same thing, because she was old and very happy with her own church and lifestyle. But we came back week after week, and finally she came to church. Afterward she said, "Who was that little girl that sat in front of me in church?" Well, I'll be dashed if I remembered who that little girl was--there were about a million of them running around sacrament meeting--but we managed to identify the child in question. "Does she like hair bows?" Louise said. I assured her that all little girls like hair bows, and we promptly invited the little tow-headed girl and her mother to visit Louise with us the following week. We arrived to find a dozen perfect bows for the little girl and her sisters. Over and over in the weeks that followed, Louise would ask who so-and-so was, and then she would craft something for them. She learned to love the ward, and she felt needed. She was baptized in June.

Now we are teaching a wonderful Christian lady who is very happy with her own church. She has Christ in her life. She'll read the Book of Mormon and she loves us to visit, but she sees no need to be baptized. And I ask myself, what is to be done for Delize*? She identified the solution when we visited her on Friday. "Some people look at things and say, 'What can I get from this,' she said, 'But I look around and wonder what I can give.'" And so I am making a mental list. On one column is the name of the less-active or investigating individuals, along with their unique gifts and talents. On the other side are the needs of the ward. All we have to do is connect the dots. What can these good people give?

Those whom God has prepared have gifts to share. Search for them. Show them how to contribute.They will strengthen our wards, enliven our vision, and join the leadership of God's church. Invite your marvelous Bible-savvy Christian friend to help you teach Primary. Ask your whiz coworker to allow your young men into his science laboratory for mutual. Petition your professional painter neighbor to help the Elder's Quorum refinish a widow's house.

As Elder Holland recently reminded us, "we're not baptizing people into the church of happy families or the church of the Tabernacle Choir...or the entire BYU athletic program, beloved as all of those may be." This is the Church of Jesus Christ, and the way to invite people to join the church is by following His example. This is His church, and He wills show us how to build His Kingdom.

I'm changing my pitch. It's no longer "Here's my church and it can help you," but, "Here's the kingdom of God, and you can help Him!" That is what we want, and what we are made for. To give back to the God who gave us life.

Share with your neighbors. Look at their talents and gifts, and ask yourself how God might have prepared them to build His kingdom. Then invite. Catch the wave!***

*As usual, names have been changed.
**Inspired by -- indeed, nearly a plagiarisation of Elder Clayton Christensen's 2011 Summer Summit presentation to Young Single Adults in Salt Lake City, Utah
***http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2013/04/catch-the-wave?lang=eng

Of Construction Workers and Virtue

Virtue is the power that flowed from Jesus Christ when a woman with an issue of blood reached for the hem of his garment.

It is the repeated focus of General Authorities, recently added to the list of Young Women's values.

It is the vital prerequisite to Priesthood power.

It is the power by which Sister missionaries are made to do bold things.

At first when I saw the group of construction workers, I ignored them. My companion did the same. We shared an unspoken understanding that these men were an exception to the cardinal missionary rule to "open your mouth." But the Spirit gnawed at me, and I felt guilty for breaking my personal creed to talk to everyone. So we turned around.

Eight men. Eight blue jump suits. A water project slowly under way. Probably not the sort of men that single girls should approach. They laughed and stared as we approached. I felt like a little girl in my daisy skirt and flat slipper-shoes. The braid around my head and my backpack stuffed with scriptures often leads people to take me for a highschooler. But the badge on my chest with the name "Jesus Christ" put a little fire in my bones.

"Hello," I called out. I inquired on the project. A few replied, a few laughed. "We are missionaries, and we couldn't pass you by without offering to pray." One of them agreed, probably as a joke. But I don't joke about prayer. "What can we pray for?" I insisted. A generalized response was replied. But these men had families and wives, the Spirit said. "How about your families? May I pray for them? Goodness knows that you have an important job as fathers and husbands," I said. They consented. We held hands in a great big circle, and I acted as voice.

The entire interaction was probably only five minutes long, but it stands out to me as the most significant five minutes of my week. None of the men accepted our follow-up invitation to share a message about Jesus Christ with their families, and none of them took a pass-along card. They laughed in an ungentlemanly way when we left. But for 35 seconds, I felt the Spirit as we prayed with eight men. I knew that God loved them. I felt a vision that God had better plans for these men and for their families. And I knew that there are no exceptions to the rule to open my mouth.

God loves all of his children. There is power in virtue.
I am grateful to be a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Dear Grandpa

Dear Grandpa,

My mission president called this morning to tell me that you died.

I was in the middle of personal study, and Alma jumped to mind to remind me that you have been "taken home to the God that gave you life."

I wonder if you will make Him laugh. You certainly make me laugh. "Rapunzel, Rapunzel," you'd say to me when my braids hung long down my back. When I came back from Jerusalem you changed the tune. "Them Arabs are lobbin' rockets over, are they?" you'd say. I'd laugh and explain things in detail, but my voice wasn't laud enough to clarify the whole of the situation. So we'd smile and laugh and love each other even though we couldn't really communicate.

I'll miss the deafness. I hope that's not disrespectful. But the absence of hearing made for some pretty comical conversations, Grandpa! If you have an angelic videographer, I'd recommend watching the back reels sometime.

You know what else I remember? (Forgive my reminiscing, but it feels cathartic today.) I remember massaging your bald head as a kid. I thought it was a bit weird, but I liked to do it because you seemed so satisfied to sit in the kitchen chair and let your grandchildren rub your head.

I took notes on the stories you told at the cabin when I was a teenager. The titles betray your most infamous tales: "The Amorous Bear," "Marriage in a Sheep-camp," "Eleven Miracle Children," "Tithing and Trickery," and "Hymns in the Navy" are among my favorites. You are a master storyteller.

Thank you for raising eleven beautiful children, Grandpa. One of them is my dad, and I think the world of him...His ten siblings and their spouses and children are pretty fabulous, too. You provided me with a child's delight: cousins by the dozens, three big cabins, a farm, fishing, a few lakes, and mountains to rove. I wouldn't be who I am today without cousins and cabins and really wonderful family traditions.

Thanks for taking care of your lovely wife. She's a hero of mine. I accidentally stumbled upon a stack of love letters when I was visiting you last year. I shouldn't have read them, but I did, and may I say that you are a romantic! I hope I meet a guy with as much class as you someday.

I'll miss you, Grandpa. Please watch over me here. I think you'd like Oklahoma. If you notice my spirits getting glum, feel free to poke me with a funny story every now and then. Take care of Grandma as best as you can from that side of the veil, and we'll watch over her here.

It is tradition for all of your children and grandchildren to give you a birthday wish. And, in keeping with tradition, I wish you a very good catch. I hope the fishing is good in heaven! Or hell. Hehe, only joking. I hear that one of your last comments was something about how 90 years is too *$%*! old. Swearing always strikes me as offensive...except when it comes from you, Grandpa. Then it's just funny. A mouth like yours probably fits somewhere less than celestial, but wherever you are I hope I go, too. :)

Happy 90th!!

Your adoring granddaughter,
-Sister Jenny Stewart (ie: Rapunzel)

A Journey Worthwhile: Of Wilderness and Promised Lands

I cried this week. Thanks to a series of faith-filled, humorous companions, I can't remember the last time I cried.

I received a letter from a dear childhood friend. She met a boy...isn't that how it always begins? And they might get married. I laughed and grinned at her giddy words, but then I felt sad. Sad to miss the wedding, sad that I don't know this guy, but mostly sad because my life isn't what I expected it would be.

"Normative timeline." This is the phrase that scholars use to explain my confusing feelings. Human beings create a set of developmental expectations (or "normative timelines"), and we worry when the timing of major life events fails to match the norm. My perception of a normative timeline was to go to college at 18, to get married at 20, and to probably have a small perfect family by 24.

God knows better.

He knew what I did not know about myself. That I have an appetite for scholarship and spirituality, and that I might need some time in school to learn and thrill and grow into myself. That I have a small seed of wanderlust that would find nourishment in places like Jerusalem and Virginia and Oklahoma. That I would desperately want to serve my Savior Jesus Christ, and that some well-timed orchestrations could land me in a wonderful place at a historic time as a full-time missionary.

He knows me better than I know myself.

Call me a radical for graduating from BYU without a ring on my left hand.  Maybe it's tyrannical that I didn't get a degree with any obvious utility. I'm criminal for loving my twisted, unexpected journey as much as I do. But God knows best. My tears have changed from sad tears to tears of gratitude. I am thankful for a Heavenly Father who loves me enough to let me depart from normative timelines. I'm not the first. Abraham and Sarah had babies way past due. Enoch felt like he was just a "young lad" when he was called to do great things. Maybe Moses didn't envision promised lands to be so difficult to obtain.

But God has better plans for our happiness than we do.

My favorite talk of late is Our Wonderful Journey Home, in which President Uchtdorf described the Plan of Salvation in story-tale format.* His description of Bilbo Baggins seems a suitable description of my own life:

And of course there is Bilbo Baggins, the small unassuming hobbit who would very much have preferred to stay home and eat his soup. But after a knock at his door, he follows the call of the great unknown and steps out into the world, together with a wizard and a band of dwarfs, to fulfill a dangerous but vitally important mission.

Switch a few words, and I hear the Spirit telling my story: "And of course there is Jenny, the unassuming girl who would very much prefer to stay at home with an apron around her waist and her family at hand. But after an encounter with the living Son of God, she follows the call of the Spirit and steps out into the world, together with a companion and a ragtaggle group of striving disciples to fulfill a dangerous but vitally important mission."

God knows best.

So here's to adventure! To non-normative timelines. To the circuitous route that always leads home. Before the promised land there is always a wilderness. The trick is learning to find joy in the journey.**

*  http://www.lds.org/broadcasts/article/general-young-women-meeting/2013/03/your-wonderful-journey-home?lang=eng

** http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2008/10/finding-joy-in-the-journey?lang=eng

Independence Day

Since tracting seemed unfruitful on the fourth of July, our Elders hatched a plan to launch a missionary lemonade stand. We set up next to a firework stand in a Wal-Mart parking lot. When people didn't appear in want of free lemonade (and pass-along cards, of course), we changed tactics. Sister Morrell and I approached everyone in line at the firework stand with cups and pass-along cards (this was well-received), and the Elders acted as welcoming crew of the Wal-mart parking lot. Their "free lemonade" sign wasn't nearly as fruitful as the "Honk If You Love Jesus" sign. The parking lot was a noisy, happy, honking, lemonade-drinking place on the fourth of July.