The Fifth Commandment

Indulge me, if you will, in a little Exodus 20:12.

This attempt to "honor (my) father and (my) mother" will perhaps expose me to incredulity from my readers. "You think of your parents so often?" you may say. I do. Creepy, but most everything that I love reminds me of home. I think about my father and my mother every day, many times a day.

I thought of them on August 24th. I was sitting in a booth with members at a little roadside Mexican restaurant when I remembered that it was their wedding anniversary. Their fist date was at a Mexican restaurant. Is it any surprise that I think with some tenderness about Mexican restaurants? Later in the day, I found myself staring at farmhouses and imaging the spot in Jerome, Idaho, where my mom finally said, "Ask me one more time," to her suitor's frequent petitions for marriage. Dad's eyes would have welled up with tears like they do, and then it was just a hop, skip, and a jump to a family of four. Maybe they were too young to start a family at 18 and 21, but I find it adorable, and courageous too.

I thought of them when the senior couple on Fort Sill sat down with us for a post-dinner thought. Elder Tomany looked at his wife wistfully, and then removed his glasses to wipe tears from his eyes. "I love her more after 42 years than I ever loved her," he said. "I tell her that I love her at least a dozen times a day." That's how my dad is. He adores my mom, and he's not shy about confessing his love on a daily basis. She deserves it too. I can't imagine a more romantic couple than my own parents.

I thought of my parents when we visited an ailing gentlemen in the hospital. I was nervous to meet my investigator's brother-in-law and his wife unannounced, but we forged a happy connection when conversation turned to dogs, horses, and the glories of a small acreage. I don't own dogs or horses or land of any size, but I was weaned on James Herriott, Laura Ingalls Wilder, and Organic Gardening. Gathering in the living room to listen to dad read is paying dividends. My parents didn't know it, but they raised a sister missionary who melts in with the rural folks of Oklahoma with ease.

If the fifth commandment has anything to do with remembering, loving, or feeling grateful, then I would like to count myself obedient. But I ought to say it a thousand times more gracefully and more often. I love you, Mom and Dad. I am grateful for you. And I remember you!

Happy Anniversary!

Evidences That God Loves Me

1. Finding a family of five to teach! Three little girls who draw pictures and sing "Popcorn Popping," and two parents who love each other and work hard and probably deal with more than their fair share of life's challenges.

2. Mail. Have I ever paused to say that my mail correspondents are hands-down amazing? There is a special place in heaven reserved for those who write to missionaries. And for those who send pictures and packages...just hop on the chariot, because you just made the fast-track to the Pearly Gates. Thank you dear friends and family, for news, and love, and prayers!

3. A car. I shouldn't admit this, but I avoid riding my bike at all costs. The whole skirt thing...and then the helmet thing...and then they expect me to look CUTE?! Yeah, right. So I drive a care with utmost gratitude. Thank you, dear missionary department, for allotting our mission a decent fleet of cars.

4. Scriptures. The most restful time of day is the sacred hour between 8 and 9 am. I like to be alone with the Lord, and that is the hour of our finest quality time. This week I am enamored with the Book of Acts. How did I exist for 24 years without knowing Philip's story? Or feeling the excitement of Peters's vision of the gospel going to all the dearth?* God bless the tremendous souls who lived and recorded these sacred words!

5. Elders. They exasperate, humiliate, humor, and bless. They get in the car and say "yes, Mom," when we do a seat-belt check. Then they encourage me to race the neighboring car at every stoplight (is it any wonder that I am the designated driver?) . They throw tortillas at us and leave scary scriptures at or doorstep. But they also give blessings and share investigators and give inspired instruction.

6. Lawton, Oklahoma. I love this place. And I get to stay for at least six more weeks!! Huzzah for no transfer!!

*http://www.lds.org/bible-videos/videos/peters-revelation-to-take-the-gospel-to-the-gentiles?lang=eng

A Better Pitch **

Dear You,

And me. Really, this lesson is for all of us.

I've got a problem. The gospel of Jesus Christ has been restored, and I have something burning inside of me to share. I suspect that you've got a little ember inside of you, too. But let's be honest. Most people aren't interested.

I saw a Vivint salesman this week. I gave him a water bottle (my sympathy was aroused for this fellow sweaty sojourner in the hot Oklahoma sun), and he beat it out of sight before I had time to testify. But he got me thinking about how I am presenting my message. "I've got to go save babies," he said to make his escape. His pitch was perfectly suited for the young mothers in the neighborhood.

How am I pitching the gospel message? The words of my 8th grade English teacher are resurrected in my mind every day: KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE.

Maybe your audience is as wonderfully difficult as mine- wonderful because they are good, happy, prosperous people. Difficult because they are good, happy, and prosperous...just the sort of people that are content without any additional religion in their lives.

The pitch for these good folk cannot be "You need us." They clearly don't. But what if we switched things around and said "We need you?" Because we really do.

President Thomas S. Monson tells the story of a Mission President in Canada who sent his missionaries forth with a specific purpose: to find and convert the individuals that they needed to build a chapel. They did so, and the miraculous story is a legend in the church today. The early saints lived similar stories. The prophet sent missionaries to Europe to find and convert architects, stone masons, and other particularly gifted individuals. God prepared those good people to help build His kingdom.

God is preparing good people today to receive the message of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ and to be benefited thereby. But perhaps it is more significant to remember that He is preparing them to receive His restored gospel and to contribute to it! They will recognize the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints as the Lord's Kingdom in these latter days inasmuch as we are becoming living invitations of Mark 8:35: "For whosoever will save his life shall lose it; but whosoever shall lose his life for my sake and the gospel's, the same shall save it."

Consider the less-active woman who refused to come to church. Sister White* was a former Relief Society President and an avid family historian, but she never came to church. She was a faithful visiting teacher and kept the Ensign on her dining room table. Still, no church. We were boggled by her. But then we found an investigator who needed to learn about family history, so we invited Sister White to come with us. And when our sweet investigator expressed concern about going to church alone, Sister White finally stepped up to the plate. She wasn't tempted by any of our wily invitations and pushy commendations to come to church, but something changed within her when she felt needed.

Louise Grimm* was a similar story. When we first met her, I thought she'd never be baptized. I'm sure she thought the same thing, because she was old and very happy with her own church and lifestyle. But we came back week after week, and finally she came to church. Afterward she said, "Who was that little girl that sat in front of me in church?" Well, I'll be dashed if I remembered who that little girl was--there were about a million of them running around sacrament meeting--but we managed to identify the child in question. "Does she like hair bows?" Louise said. I assured her that all little girls like hair bows, and we promptly invited the little tow-headed girl and her mother to visit Louise with us the following week. We arrived to find a dozen perfect bows for the little girl and her sisters. Over and over in the weeks that followed, Louise would ask who so-and-so was, and then she would craft something for them. She learned to love the ward, and she felt needed. She was baptized in June.

Now we are teaching a wonderful Christian lady who is very happy with her own church. She has Christ in her life. She'll read the Book of Mormon and she loves us to visit, but she sees no need to be baptized. And I ask myself, what is to be done for Delize*? She identified the solution when we visited her on Friday. "Some people look at things and say, 'What can I get from this,' she said, 'But I look around and wonder what I can give.'" And so I am making a mental list. On one column is the name of the less-active or investigating individuals, along with their unique gifts and talents. On the other side are the needs of the ward. All we have to do is connect the dots. What can these good people give?

Those whom God has prepared have gifts to share. Search for them. Show them how to contribute.They will strengthen our wards, enliven our vision, and join the leadership of God's church. Invite your marvelous Bible-savvy Christian friend to help you teach Primary. Ask your whiz coworker to allow your young men into his science laboratory for mutual. Petition your professional painter neighbor to help the Elder's Quorum refinish a widow's house.

As Elder Holland recently reminded us, "we're not baptizing people into the church of happy families or the church of the Tabernacle Choir...or the entire BYU athletic program, beloved as all of those may be." This is the Church of Jesus Christ, and the way to invite people to join the church is by following His example. This is His church, and He wills show us how to build His Kingdom.

I'm changing my pitch. It's no longer "Here's my church and it can help you," but, "Here's the kingdom of God, and you can help Him!" That is what we want, and what we are made for. To give back to the God who gave us life.

Share with your neighbors. Look at their talents and gifts, and ask yourself how God might have prepared them to build His kingdom. Then invite. Catch the wave!***

*As usual, names have been changed.
**Inspired by -- indeed, nearly a plagiarisation of Elder Clayton Christensen's 2011 Summer Summit presentation to Young Single Adults in Salt Lake City, Utah
***http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2013/04/catch-the-wave?lang=eng